Every neighborhood has a "Monster House". Ours wasn't like Amityville or anything. Flies and maggots didn't come out of the drainpipes. Blood didn't trickle from the windowpanes. It didn't do any of that really cool stuff.
Still, it was scary just the same and we had to walk by it each and every day after school. Cutting through the ravine was a shortcut and the simplest way home but at the top of the wooden stairs leading out of the gully was..."The House".
At the end of a quiet street, "The House" was a monstrosity. The fence around it was crooked and bent like mouthful of jagged teeth. Thick vines and weeds covered the walls and roof like some kind of alien spider web. We were convinced the last time the front lawn had been mowed must've been when John A. McDonald was sipping vodka from his "water pitcher" in the House of Commons. We couldn't walk past "The House" fast enough and if you dared disturb a blade of grass on the front lawn as you criss-crossed to the safety of the street, the owner, who nobody had ever laid eyes on, would yell something unintelligible out his front window in a voice as rough as sandpaper. Although we never could understand what the heck he was saying it was clear that his deck was missing a couple of cards, if you know what I mean.
Although nobody ever presented any proof, word around the neighbourhood was that he once shot a kid and that's why no matter how much we were goofing around on the way home, when we saw "The House" at the top of those stairs leading up from the ravine, we were prepared for anything.
DJ, Chowder and Jenny from the animated feature and video game 'Monster House', do something me and my childhood pals would never, ever do: they actually enter the mysterious house in their neighbourhood and battle it.
PlayStation 2
THQ's PlayStation 2 version is best described as a 'Resident Evil' for kids. It has all the same trappings and gameplay without any of the gore.
The scares are also considerably toned down...although it can be a little creepy at times since the surroundings are viewed using a very effective fish-eye like camera that makes things seem a teeny bit distorted like a funhouse mirror.
Water guns in hand, you guide the trio through the living house searching for the furnace that acts as its heart. Inanimate objects like chairs and floorboards come to life as the house itself puts all manner of roadblocks in your way. In a scene torn from 'Resident Evil', rusty water pipes instead of zombie limbs crash through the walls in a dark hallway and try to pull you into the dark recesses of the house from which there is no return.
Again, like 'Resident Evil', 'Monster House' is not all about eviscerating hair-raising beasties. There are puzzles throughout the levels too but most are of the find-and-place-an-object-here or push-this-crate-there variety.
They are just tricky enough to get kids searching around and thinking but not enough to make them throw a controller.
When it comes to kids games and difficulty levels, THQ are old pros.
'Monster House' is no exception in that regard. The game allows kids to save often (whenever they find a bathroom) and there are power-ups and collectables strewn around almost every sinister room. Toy monkeys unlock hidden game art and tokens can be used to play the 'Thou Art Dead' mini-game, a clever send-up of eighties arcade side-scrollers, that's included.
Nintendo DS and GameBoy Advance
In my experience, it is usually the GBA title that pales in comparison to the sophistication of its elder sibling. Not so with Monster House. The GBA RPG-like game is the clear-cut keeper. In it, you move the entire party of junior Carl Kolchaks around clearing each level, gathering important equipment and collectables. The DS adaption wears out its welcome really quickly with its repetitive gameplay. The touch screen is a "magnifying glass radar" screen set-up where you aim and shoot your weapons. The top game screen acts as the actual play area. It is all rather perplexing looking back and forth between both screens. If you don't have a bad neck you will after playing this puppy. To top it all off, the uninspiring objective of the game is to clear room after room of one wave of monsters after the next.
WHAM! Rating: |
8 out of 10 (PS2) |
ESRB Rating: |
E 10+ (Everyone 10+) |
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WHAM! Rating: |
3 out of 10 (DS) |
ESRB Rating: |
E 10+ (Everyone 10+) |
|
WHAM! Rating: |
6 out of 10 (GBA) |
ESRB Rating: |
E 10+ (Everyone 10+) |
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