  'Torino 2006' should have been called 'Skiing 2006'.
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Sometimes I feel like I am in a time warp. Case in point, my fond memories of Olympic style games goes way back to Epyx California Games and World Games for my beloved Commodore 64 computer.
Beyond that, the only other experience that brings a smile to my face is the Konami 'Hyper Olympic' coin-op. All about timing, rhythm and how fast you could mash buttons, 'Hyper Olympic' will be best remembered for one of the first ever video game MacGyver-isms. In the day, arcade rats would wrap rings of thinly folded paper around their fists like brass knuckles so they could skim over the two buttons that had to be pounded simultaneously to make your athlete run.
Using that origami cheat, you could blaze across the screen like Steve Austin...without the cool sound effects, of course.
So, yeah, it has been a long, long while since I checked out an Olympics game. I guess that's because I got tired of having my brain cells reduced to the consistency of porridge by the uninspired releases over the years. Having given 'Torino 2006' a spin, it is sad to see that things haven't changed much even though we are living in the time of next-gen consoles, rag doll physics and all that spiffy stuff.
In this day and age, you'd guess that a game based on the winter Olympiad would carry such rousing competitions as edgy snowboarding events and some good ole' hockey. You know, stuff that's fun to play. Well, you guessed wrong. Dead wrong.
As a substitute for events that would have a high rate of replayability, 2K Sports has given us 30,000 awesome versions of...ummm...skiing. There's skiing while shooting at stuff, skiing off big and little ramps, skiing down a hill, skiing for long distances and skiing for short distances.
They should have called the game 'Super Skiing 2006'. I wish I were kidding but I am not.
Skiing off a big ramp is mildly amusing if you like replaying that infamous 'Wide World of Sports' wipe-out and skiing while shooting stuff is ruined by the fact that you aren't shooting at anything with a heart-beat and as you get tired, your aim becomes slightly goofy like you just drank a gallon of Thunderbird or something. Where's the random drug testing option where you try to fool the judges by switching the urine samples? Now that would have been cool.
If skiing isn't your thing, there are few other options. There's riding a bobsled with one person or a buddy, that is you don't mind staring at your feet and the track for minutes on end while you rocket down the never-ending course. It is sorta like driving through prairie land without the corn stalks to look at. If that doesn't tickle your fancy the only other event left is speed skating and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't crash through the boards like a human missile. No fun. No fun at all.
'Super Skiing 2006' is all style and no substance. It looks and sounds superb but the overall gameplay is about as attention grabbing as watching dust collect on your keyboard. All that is needed to sink this game further in mediocrity is if there was a figure skating option as well. Where's the fun in using the "arrow keys" to constantly balance yourself or pressing them back and forth to maintain a skating rhythm? 2K could have opted to do something truly revolutionary but instead they opted to time travel back to 1983 and give us another 'Hyper Olympic' clone. That approach just really doesn't cut it in 2006.
WHAM! Rating: |
2 out of 10 |
ESRB Rating: |
E (Everyone). |
Official Web Sites: |
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