For a guy whose image is so indelibly associated with cool toys and holiday season consumer lust, Santa Claus shows up in surprisingly few video games.
Maybe it's because games often involve doing harm to others, be they human, alien or Nazi, and jolly ol' Saint Nick just doesn't roll that way. Or maybe it's because only a portion of the world actually knows or cares who the fat guy in the red suit is.
Whatever the case, this week we've decided to take a seasonal look at some games in which Santa Claus (or a reasonable lookalike) makes an appearance, and grade their worthiness on the big man's own naughty and nice scale.
If you're doing some last-minute holiday shopping, bear in mind that a few of these games can't be found in stores. But that may not be such a bad thing.
PAIN (PlayStation 3)
This $10 PlayStation Network download lets you stick a character in a giant slingshot and fling him at a bustling downtown block, with the goal being to do as much harm to the environment -- and your hapless flyer -- as possible. For $1.50 apiece, you can also download a hilariously horrifying shopping mall Santa (puke stains and all) or his sultry sidekick, Cookie. So you're not going to get me a pony this year, eh Santa? Let's see how well you fly without your reindeer.
Naughty or nice?: Nice. Tossing back a few eggnogs and launching Santa into the side of a skyscraper could become a new holiday season tradition.
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (Game Boy Advance)
As the wince-worthy Tim Allen version of Santa, players scamper around collecting milk and cookies, dropping presents from a sleigh and doing battle with snowmen, ice bats and mean old Jack Frost. It's a bland and generic platformer based on a movie franchise that wore out its welcome with the very first film. Ho, ho, no.
Naughty or nice?: Naughty. If you can't find a piece of coal for your intended giftee's stocking, this would make a perfect substitute.
Kingdom Hearts II (PlayStation 2)
This second mash-up of the Final Fantasy and Disney universes has a level in which players visit Halloween Town, home to The Nightmare Before Christmas hero Jack Skellington. Jack's arch-nemesis Oogie Boogie kidnaps Santa to turn him over to the game's chief baddie, but things work out in the end when the player saves the day. Santa then wisely tells Jack that Jack should concentrate on Halloween and leave Christmas to the Claus clan.
Naughty or nice?: Nice. The original mix of Disney characters and Japanese role-playing game elements struck gold, and this sequel is even better.
X-Mas Nightmare for Doom II (PC)
Why slay demons in the bowels of hell when you can slay demons wearing jaunty Santa caps in a shopping mall? This wasn't the first homegrown, user-made Doom modification with a Christmas theme, it's actually a relatively recent update that can still be found online. The mod converts the game's enemies to things like giant walking presents, evil snowmen and a legion of Santas. More silly than sick.
Naughty or nice?: Naughty. It might have been a fun diversion back in the day, but even the novelty of gunning down rabid reindeer can't disguise the very old-school Doom II graphics and gameplay.
The Sims 2 Holiday Edition (PC)
This version of the bazillion-selling Sims 2 combines the main game with the goodies found in the Sims 2 Happy Holiday Stuff expansion pack, presumably to make it a perfect gift for the three people left on earth who have yet to play the game. The title is more than just politically correct: In addition to visits from Santa and other Christmas trappings, the game includes a few holiday-themed items from other religions and cultures, which is nice to see. Still, does anyone really need yet another retread of The Sims 2?
Naughty or nice?: Naughty. EA has left no udder unmilked as they try to squeeze every last dollar out of their giant cash cow.
Saints Row (Xbox 360)
Pimpin' ain't easy, and neither is delivering gifts to millions of kids across the world in a single evening. In that respect, Santa Claus and the cast of ne'er-do-wells from this Grand Theft Auto-inspired romp have something in common. Owners of the game can log onto Xbox Live to download the cheekily named Ho Ho Ho Pack, which gives your game character the option of committing acts of wanton violence and mayhem while dressed as Kris Kringle.
Naughty or nice?: Nice. The download is free and it's definitely good for some laughs, but don't let the kids watch Santa doing drive-by shootings or they'll be scarred for life.
