Take this, Shrek!

Shrek and his merry band of fairy tale friends are back for another video game sequel. What does the WHAM! staff have to say about the film franchise’s latest foray into the gaming world? Check it out as ‘Shrek SuperSlam’ gets WHAMMED!

STORYLINE

John Powell, Xbox: In the blink-and-you-will-miss-it story mode, the flatulent green ogre and his motley pals conjure up fables to put some baby dragons to sleep. While mildly entertaining - the 'Iron Chef' parody is wonderful - completing the story mode is equal to the running time of 'Shrek 3D'. That is, if you include the minute it takes to down a bottle of aspirins due to the subsequent eyestrain you suffered from those blasted 3D glasses.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Weak, weak, weak. Each character has his or her own storyline in the single player mode and each story is so lame it isn’t even worth mentioning. What? You MUST have an example? Okay, here’s an example: the donkey wanders into a forest and finds a magic wand and … well, and that’s about it. Now start fighting. It makes no sense to us either. We told you it’s bad.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Nonexistent. Shrek, his buddies AND enemies face off in a Super Smash Bros Melee type destructible environments. The usual power ups and signature moves are all present and accounted for.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: Shrek and the gang attempt to put Dragon and Donkey’s children to sleep for the night by reading them a story. The book is set ablaze by one of the Donkeys forcing Shrek and the gang to make up their own stories. Each story is a different level in the game taking you on adventures that closely parody TV, movies and pop culture.

GAMEPLAY

John Powell, Xbox: In a nutshell, you pound buttons, pound buttons and pound some more buttons until your fingers are sore. This is all to increase the "Slam Metre". If you pound when the "Slam Metre" is at its highest, your foe will bounce around like a rubber ball and bust up whichever arena you are scuffling in. Gingerbread houses will collapse. Castles will crumble. You get the idea. There are weapons scattered about too like giant hams, fireball wands and beehives. The meager options are the aforementioned story mode, 45 Mega Challenges (mini-games) or Melee Rounds (two-minute timed battles).

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Weak, weak, weak. Seriously. Think Super Smash Bros. Melee, only really crappy and simplistic, with little-to-no actual skill needed. You’re able to pull off punches, jumps and combos using different button combinations, but really, one or two moves will do the job against pretty much any enemy. I was able to plow through each single player ‘mission’ with almost no effort.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Quick, but as entertainment for the single player, Super Slam is void of depth or longevity. As a multiplayer, which I'll grant is the main attraction, there's more. But not much more.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: 'SuperSlam' is intended for a much younger audience. This is clearly evident by the fact that this game can be described as a "button masher". You’ll find that you spend most of the time just hammering buttons and before you know it the game is over and you are victorious.

GRAPHICS, SOUND

...and that!

John Powell, Xbox: This game's saving grace is the destructible environments. When stuff blows up...well...it blows up REAL good. As a result of the destruction sometimes other weapons will become available. For example: Slamming a character through a gumball machine will release the plastic egg thingys and bingo...bango...you have new projectiles to launch. If nothing else, it seemed like a lot of thought was put into creating the arenas. Don't be listening for Mike Myers' witty repartee or Cameron Diaz's sweet intonations though as they didn't voice the game. Their stand-ins however are more than up for the task and you will be hard pressed to notice the difference.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: The Nintendo DS may not be a super-powerful machine, but it definitely has some nice-looking games. Shrek Super Slam is not one of them. Characters are very blocky and the environments are not fully destructible. Sure you can smash a box here or a fence there, but it adds nothing to the game. Characters speak very rarely, and what they do say becomes annoying when it’s heard over and over again. This is not a game that takes advantage of what the Nintendo DS can do in any way.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Accurate representations of all the characters, no complaints at all. And the environments are all detailed enough. Despite Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and so on being absent from the voice talent roster, their stand-ins do a fairly decent job.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: The graphics are similar to that of the animated movie. The environments are adequately detailed and you have the ability to pick up and throw almost every object, which is very cool. The characters all sound like their motion picture counterparts although they don’t speak very often. It’s often a lot of grunting and yelling.

LONGEVITY

John Powell, Xbox: Unless you are a real glutton for punishment or absolutely adore fighting games, you will lose interest in about as much time as it took you to read this sentence.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Let’s put it this way – when you get more out of a title’s mini-games, you know there’s a problem, but that’s the case with 'Shrek SuperSlam'. As stated earlier, the single player missions can each be completed in about two minutes and the actual combat arena fighting gets unbelievably boring very quickly. Again, this game tries too hard to be like Super Smash Bros. Melee but fails miserably.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: No friends? Zero. Even with all four of you, you're gonna wish you'd rented something bigger.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: The younger, intended audience will probably be able to have fun with this game for quite a while. Unfortunately, because of a lack of online play you will find that adults will grow tired of this game after a couple hours. Play the multiplayer with a friend to get another couple of hours of gaming.

MISCELLANEOUS POSITIVES

John Powell, Xbox: Let me see here. Ummm. Hold on. Gimme a sec. Ummm. Oh yeah, Puss In Boots is so darn cute in the box art and Shrek's fart attack is funny! But seriously, folks, the environments are everything and they wear out their welcome quite quickly.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Not many. The unlockable stills from the movies are funny – but then you could just go out and buy the DVD and watch it in full motion anytime you wanted. Also, the game makes Super Smash Bros. Melee look even better than it already is, so that’s good I suppose….

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Super Slam will hopefully going be the last Shrek game.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: The foundation of the game is great. The environments are very detailed and by the end of the level almost everything is destroyed. Which makes the game seem a little more dynamic than it really is.

MISCELLANEOUS NEGATIVES

John Powell, Xbox: Although the attacks are unique to each character, they are nothing to write home about. After you finish story mode, what else is there to do?

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Too many to mention here. The most glaring negative is that this game really just isn’t much fun. It becomes boring and repetitive quickly and seems to serve no purpose. Sure, there aren’t really any games like this on the DS, but if given the choice of playing a horrible arena-like fighting game, or none at all, we would choose the latter every time.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Some characters have a much greater advantage over others. Who couldn't beat up a Gingerbread Man?

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: Mash, mash, mash. The controller will get quite the workout after you sit there for a couple of hours pounding button after button. This game will leave the older audience in a coma after they realize that the game is just a controller workout and no skill is required to move on to bigger and better levels. It’s essentially just punch, throw and slam everything.

FAVOURTIE FAIRY TALE CHARACTER?

...and this!

John Powell, Xbox: Fire-breathing, earth-scorching, brimstone-breathing dragons.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Is ‘The Matrix’ a fairy tale? If so, I would totally be Neo. If not, I would choose Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. He’s a lot like me – he does stupid things without realizing they’re stupid, but then his actions turn out to be really smart and he kills giants and gets rich! Only with me, my actions really are just stupid, yet I never slay giants, nor have I managed to become rich. Yet. Anyone want to trade a copy of ‘Shrek Super Slam’ for some magical beans?

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: Despite my manliness, I'd be that princess from the pea story. You can never have a comfy enough mattress.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: Rumpelstiltskin would be my first choice as a fairy tale character simply because anyone that can spin straw into gold would probably be able to find work anywhere. It also has the most bizarre ending of any fairy tale I’ve every read. He’s so angry that the Queen figures out his name that he rips himself it two? What the hell?!?!?

BOTTOM LINE

John Powell, Xbox: A flimsy, hollow and ill-timed release that only some children would take pleasure from as their expectations on occasion are not that high. With the last 'Shrek' release ("Shrek 3D") being a direct-to-video deal in 2003, one wonders if the kids who are old enough to appreciate the game will even recognize the franchise since it is not in the forefront of pop culture at the present time. Activision would have been better off waiting until 2007 or so when 'Shrek 3' is released.

Daniel Barron, Nintendo DS: Not worth buying. Not worth a rental. Not worth a glance while searching the racks at your local video game store. Easily one of the worth Nintendo DS games yet.

Andy Barratt, Game Cube: If you don't already own Super Smash Bros Melee, and all Blockbuster's copies are already rented, Shrek Super Slam just might fit tbe bill.

Sean Villani, PlayStation 2: All in all the premise of the game is fun. If you gave this game to a nine-year-old they would have smiles on their faces. Initially I had to remember that the intended audience for this game is young. Quite frankly you win them over with Shrek and his gang of friends to begin with. The fact that there is a decent game with multiplayer and a four player melee is a bonus for them. Activision has done a good job presenting this game. It doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a button mashing good time.