Like a woman of ill repute who waits down by the docks for the ships to return to port, Sid Meier's Pirates! sure does get around. Unlike said woman, though, you won't catch a mysterious rash from this game. Hooray! Something in its favour already!
Sid Meier's Pirates! first set sail on computers way back in 1987, before being redesigned for modern PCs in 2004 and the Xbox in 2005. Now, the guy behind the Civilization series brings his sword-swinging, booty-plundering and buckle-swashing strategy game to the PSP, and it fits like a parrot on a pirate's shoulder. Or a peg leg on Long John Silver's stump. Or a woman of ill repute on... arrr, we'd best not be goin' there, matey!
Though there's a colourful backstory to Pirates! about a wicked Spanish nobleman kidnapping your family, you don't have to make finding your abducted relatives a priority if you don't want to. You're simply turned loose in the wide blue oceans of the 17th-century Caribbean to seek fame and fortune wherever you find it.
Want to do battle with merchant vessels and plunder their cargo? Make it so. Want to make your living as a peaceful trader in spices, sugar and luxury goods? Go for it. Want to hunt down outlaws and challenge them to sword duels? Excellent. Want to try to bed every hot governor's daughter in the land? Better lace up your dancin' boots, sonny.
(Note: You don't actually have relations with the women in the game, that's just a little something my imagination brings to it to spice it up. I'm sure my family is very proud.)
While crisscrossing the seas to trade goods, attack enemy ships and look for buried treasure is the core of the game, Pirates! mixes so many other activities into the fold that it seldom gets dull. Duelling with brigands, dancing with governors' daughters, mounting ground assaults on ports ... while it's not especially deep, it's completely open-ended and exactly the kind of game that lends itself to the portable platform, since it can be easily played in bite-sized chunks. Or in four-hour stretches, where you lose track of the time and realize the dog has been outside so long that she's frozen into a block of Cocker Spaniel-shaped ice.
Strangely, Pirates! on the PSP might appeal more to fans of the PC version than to fresh-faced swabbies who've never spent time with it before. The controls work surprisingly well, but it's kind of like seeing a really good movie on TV instead of experiencing it in the theatre first. The visuals are naturally not quite as crisp, the sound leaves a little something to be desired and the load screens are a little jarring, like the one that pops up right before you're about to defeat a foe in a duel.
Still, Pirates! has pick-up-and-play simplicity that also rewards long-term strategic thinking and tactical skills in the white-knuckle sea battles. Unlike the woman of ill repute, it's a fine piece o' booty.
BOTTOM LINE: Whether or not you're a fan of the original PC version or its Xbox remake, this portable iteration of the simple but supremely addictive seafaring strategy game brings a lot to the captain's table.
WHAM! Rating: |
8 out of 10 |
ESRB Rating: |
E (Everyone) |
Official Web Site: |
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STEVE TILLEY'S CHEAT SHEET
BOARDING PARTY HEARTY: In the early going, it's relatively easy to capture a larger and more powerful ship just by ramming your vessel into your opponent and defeating the enemy captain in a duel. Just make sure your ship is upwind of your foe's before you commit to the battle.
ALWAYS TALK TO STRANGERS: As soon as you begin to amass large amounts of gold, start buying just about everything offered by the ever-present mysterious stranger in the taverns, especially items that upgrade your skills. You'll desperately need them as you advance further.
SAVE OUR SOULS: Pirates! doesn't have an auto-save feature, so be sure to save your game before doing something risky, such as taking on a high-ranked pirate like Henry Morgan (yeah, the rum guy) in a sea battle. Watching a ship that you've spent thousands of gold pieces upgrading get blasted into shreds when your last save was hours earlier is about as much fun as being dragged naked across barnacles.
