A wise man named Ice-T once said, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game." 'Course that was before the O.G. sold out and went all Law & Order: Sports Utility Vehicle, ya mean?
So don't hate Def Jam: Fight For NY for being an over-the-top brawler that does mad justice to its sleeper hit predecessor Def Jam Vendetta. After all, video games and hip hop culture go together like Redman and a blunt. Uh, weapon.
No, hate the game - at least for a while - because initially it'll make you want to yank out your controller, whip it around by its cord and smash it against the floor while screaming a stream of expletives that would make Snoop Dogg blush.
Luckily, the more you play it, the better you'll get. And the better you get, the more you'll like it. Beef up your skills, listen to your in-game trainer Henry Rollins (yes, you read that right) and bust out your hilariously brutal "blazin' moves" on a regular basis, and you'll end up the most feared name on the street.
The surprisingly well fleshed out story sees you rolling with a gang called D-Mob, who go up against rival posses (including one led by Snoop's alter-ego Crow) in Fight Club-style no-holds-barred bouts. Although you pick from among five fighting styles, Fight For NY is a wrestling game at heart - the ultimate goal is to pummel your foe to the point where you can execute a finishing move, like pounding his head into a concrete pillar, clocking him with a pool cue or throwing him in front of a subway train. Step off, sucka!
At first I got my sweet pink ass owned so regularly that I started to believe virtual Ice-T when he growled, "You're a punk, your daddy's a punk and your momma's a bitch." But once I figured out you can break grapples and reverse attacks if you time it just right, I was quickly mopping up the floor with everyone from Busta Rhymes to Crazy Legs.
If you can look past the aggravating camera issues (the crowd often obscures the action, especially in the free-for-all matches) and regular framerate drops, Fight for NY is a lot of fun. Brutal, violent, profanity-laced fun, the kind that will give the 14-year-old suburban white boys who skirt around the game's 17-and-older rating endless hours of pleasure. Moms and dads, that ain't Pokemon they're playing in the basement.
Half the joy is in watching - and, more often than not, beating the crap out of - the authentically voiced digital recreations of 40-plus hip hop/Hollywood celebs. Where else can you whale on Ice-T, Omar Epps, Snoop Dogg, Method Man, Danny Trejo, Sean Paul, Xzibit and a host of other famous faces without all that annoying jail time?
It also has one of the best storylines ever in a fighting game, from the deep create-a-fighter mode (your custom brawler appears in all of the game's slick cinematic cutscenes) to the outrageous plot developments.
After one fight, for instance, you get to choose whether you want Carmen Electra or a howler named Shaniqua as your main squeeze. Then you immediately take control of your lady of choice in the mother of all catfights. Needless to say, I had Carmen school Shaniqua in the ways of heartbreak. And leg-break.
While the plethora of multiplayer modes are good, dirty fun, even the single-player game will keep you coming back for more punishment. And if you thought it was fun playing digital Barbies in Fable, wait'll you see how you can customize your character's hairstyles, tattoos and name-brand clothes and accessories here.
Paying a visit to Jacob & Co. jewelers (real-world blingsmith to New York's hip hop elite) is also key, since the more platinum and ice you're flashing, the more the crowd gets on your side in bouts, and the more momentum you can muster. Holla!
Def Jam: Fight For NY doesn't quite hold its own next to the giants of the genre, but then you can't dress in an Ecko hoodie and Phat Farm jeans and lay a beating on Busta Rhymes in WWE Smackdown, yo. Peace out.
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BOTTOMLINE
A challenging level of difficulty plus next-to-useless instructions makes Def Jam: Fight For NY harder than it needs to be. But once you master your skills (and overlook the camera problems), it's one of the most viscerally fun brawlers in ages.
