With all due respect to meteorologists who warn us of impending blizzards, downpours and icky-sticky summer humidity, there's really not much glory in being a weatherman.
For proof, look no further than Knothole Island, the new downloadable add-on for the Xbox 360's whimsical action-RPG Fable II. It's the first of many high-profile downloadable content releases slated for 2009, but let's hope this isn't where the quality bar is being set.
Available now on Xbox Live Marketplace for anyone with a copy of Fable II, an Xbox Live account and 800 Microsoft Points (about $11.50 in real-world money), Knothole Island adds its titular atoll to the game world of Albion, accessible via a rickety submarine moored in the hub city of Bowerstone.
But it turns out this tropical paradise is knee-deep in snow and ice, thanks to the locals' abuse of a weather-controlling shrine. As the visiting hero, your job is to take on three weather-correcting quests for a Goldilocks-like village chieftain. Too cold! Too hot! Too wet!
Having finished and more or less forgotten Fable II a couple of months ago, it was nice to have an excuse to return to Albion and check up on my dog, my two wives and my stash of weird weapons, clothing and other goodies.
But Knothole Island itself is a letdown. The island consists of a small village and a tiny bit of wilderness, plus three linear, uninspired dungeons for the trio of weather-changing quests, which experienced players can blow through in as little as two hours.
Even Xbox Gamerscore-whores won't find much to love, as Knothole Island offers a piddly 100 additional achievement points: 50 points for finishing the three quests and 25 points apiece for some tedious book-hunting and even more tedious item-trading in the village's swap store.
There are lots of new goodies and weapons to acquire, and while some are kind of cool (like the Elvis sunglasses and wig, the Knothole Knight armour and the Halo-inspired Hal's Rifle), most are just slight variations of stuff found on the Albion mainland.
On top of that, a new batch of potions allows players to immediately make their characters thinner, fatter, shorter, taller or scar-free, essentially removing the consequences of in-game choices that change a character's appearance.
Kind of goes against Fable II's philosophy of living with the decisions you make, doesn't it?
To be fair, $12 for two or three hours of so-so entertainment is about the same price as a movie, and you don't have to shell out extra for criminally overpriced Dr. Pepper.
But you can also argue that $12 is 20% of the full cost of Fable II, so Knothole Island ought to offer an additional 20% of content. Yeah, not so much.
The forecast for Knothole Island? Intermittent gameplay followed by gusts of buyer's regret.
BOTTOM LINE
This downloadable add-on for Fable II offers a less-than-memorable two or three hours of extra gaming and a handful of worthwhile new items. For hardcore Fable fans only.
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FABLE II: KNOTHOLE ISLAND
Xbox 360 (via Xbox Live Marketplace)
Lionhead Studeios/ Microsoft Game Studios
Rating: Mature
Sun Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5
